The 25th November is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women.
❝ Gendered violence is so much more complicated than punching a woman in the face. It cannot be reduced to Good Guy/Bad Guy. Gendered violence – men’s violence against women – is a complicated execution of many aggressions, some massive and some micro, that sits on a broad spectrum. If you’ve never punched a woman but you ritually engage in slut-shaming, congratulations – you’re not a Good Guy. If you’ve never sexually assaulted a woman but you say that women who wear short skirts are ‘asking for it’, congratulations – you’re not a Good Guy. If you’ve never bruised a woman, but you enjoy telling sexist jokes and laughing at women when they ‘overreact’, congratulations – you’re not a Good Guy. If you’ve never killed a woman but your days are filled with abusing them online, harassing them, calling on every patriarchal designed insult to humiliate them and make them believe they are less than you, congratulations – you are not a Good Guy.
There is so much more to being a Good Guy than simply not being a Bad one. If you say you love women and believe in equality but you believe women are obliged to listen to you respectfully no matter what you say to them, to honour your intelligence, to acquiesce to your authority, to be flattered when you talk to them, to respond when you call, to understand that their place is beneath you and that this isn’t a matter of inequality it’s just a matter of merit, to shut up when you tell them to, to feel bad when you want them to, and to absorb the hatred spawned by your insecurities and sense of emasculation when they don’t do these things – congratulations, you are not a Good Guy. ❞
— Clementine Ford